What is a woman? well for one they are extraordinary creatures, you love them and you love to hate them at the same time, they tend to drive you ballistic almost 99% of the time, but there are exceptions to this common rule, the hard thing is to find this exception. many have tried and failed, sort of like a crash and burn situation, you can never win with a women, in an argument lets say you may think you;re coming up on top but right then in a split second she will come back at you like a lioness hunting a wildebeest , and rip you apart with no mercy at all!!.
Over the centuries women have been seen as many things, slaves, whores, cosmetics for our beloved yuppies out there and so on, but in my mind they will always remain whores, yes thats right WHORES, some of you reading this may be shocked (see the worry in my eye?) , some may beleive it to be true and some may think that i am just saying this because of my past. the bottom line is that i dont give a continental flying fuck what people think, its my belief that all women are whores in one way or another.
Make no mistake, i love women, i find them appealing, extravagant, a real challenge you could say, the old fable that says you cant live without a woman is true, but then again you cant shoot her either ( without going to prison for life that is – where’s the fun in that? ) you just have to live with her, live with her PMS, live with her BITCHING AND MOANING, live with her lame excuses 99% of the time ( i sometimes wonder where they actually come up with some of those excuses ).
if one man actually ever comes to me and says to my face that he trusts a woman i promise i will turn GAY, honestly how the hell can you trust something that bleeds every 28 or so days for 3-7 days for at least 40 years of her life and doesnt DIE?????
When God created this planet He created Man too ( take note – A MAN ) and then He created that coniving woman called Eve, from thereon it’s been a downhill battle, men have tried for millions of years to understand thier way of thinking but to no avail – at least not yet, and i’m not getting my hopes up that anytime soon in the future some man will – but here’s to dreaming.
Then we have the mistake of marriage. WTF is up with that? before they get married they are like little shepp, they look after thier man, thay take care of him, they do almost anything he asks and so on and so on, but one that ring is on her finger all hell breaks loose, they start fucking around, screwing anything on two legs ( i’ve even heard everything on four legs but thats another story altogether ) all they think about is money, the new cabrio that looks sooooo gorgeous down there at the SAAB showroom, that nice necklace that comes with the matching earings , and of course the Holy Gold Mastercard that thier poor husband has to work like a dog day in day out to pay for, because heaven forbid SHE has to work to pay for it, she might break a nail or something and if she does she will have to go for therapy at the most expensive therapist around, you know the one that whatshername went to, yes man that famous movie star ( heaven help me ).
So the husband who lets say 6 months before was the only thing that mattered to her comes home, dead tired, hoping that his new bride has attempted to cook something for him to eat, hoping that she will help him relax after the labours of the day and so on, but no , what he gets instead is ” you dont pay attention to me anymore” or ” what the hell do you think i do all day, sit on my ass like you?” or “me cook? you have got to be joking, there’s a Mcdonalds 5 kilometres away, get off your lazy fat ass and go and buy something for yourself to eat” or anything to that effect.
So basically, you can never make a woman happy, there may be hope but not in our lifetimes.
The next woman that gives me shit will get one last gift from me, a dildo and a note telling her to go fuck herself!!
end of story
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